THERE ARE PLENTY OF WAYS TO GET AROUND HERE.


NOT JUST IN PARIS ANYMORE...MOST CITIES OF MODERATE SIZE HAVE RENT-A-BIKE STATIONS THROUGHOUT THEIR CITIES. FOR A FEW EUROS, JUST SWIPE YOUR CARD AND GO. AND IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM LIKE A FLAT TIRE, HELP IS JUST A CELL PHONE CALL AWAY...5 MINITE RESPONSE TIME...TRIPLE "A", EAT YOUR HEART OUT.


THE TRAINS ARE INCREDIBLE...AN UNBELIEVEABLE NETWORK OF TRAINS HOLDS THE COUNTRY TOGETHER. AND THEY RUN "ON-TIME"...SERIOUSLY. PROBLEM IS THAT TRAINS ARE GREAT IN GOING FROM CITY TO CITY, BUT IN ORDER TO VISIT THE COUNTRYSIDE YOU NEED A CAR...NOT TO MENTION THE TIME SPENT IN TRAIN STATIONS WAITING OR, STRESSING ABOUT MAKING A TRANSFER ETC. STILL FOR AN AMERICAN FROM THE WEST COAST WHERE TRAINS ARE FOUND MOSTLY IN MUSEUMS AND COFFEETABLE BOOKS, IT CAN BE AN ADVENTURE.

CARS...SMALL CARS AND SMALLER ROADS...AND THE PARKING SPACES...DON'T GET ME STARTED@#$#@%$^%$#

IT'S FUNNY...I SEE ALL SORTS OF AMERICAN CARS HERE...LIKE THIS FORD...MODELS YOU WOULD NEVER SEE AT HOME.


BUT HERE'S MY BABY...A BRAND NEW TOYOTA YARIS I CALLED SYLVIE...A TOTAL BABE...8,000 KILOMETERS
(5,000 MILES) IN 30 DAYS. AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION (UNUSUAL FOR EUROPE), GASOLINE POWERED (ALSO UNUSUAL), A/C, AM/FM RADIO WITH A CD PLAYER, KEYLESS ENTRY, AND PUSH BUTTON STARTER (KEYLESS IGNITION). WHEN I TURNED SYLVIE IN TO EUROPCAR IN ALCENON,FRANCE (AN HOUR SOUTH OF FALAISE) AND PREPARED TO BOARD THE TRAIN FOR PARIS, I MUST ADMIT IT WAS A TEARFUL GOOD-BYE. I PARKED IN FRONT OF THE RENTAL AGENCY AND WE KISSED AND SAID OUR GOOD-BYES...MY MISTAKE WAS LOOKING BACK...I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT...WAS IT HER 25 KILOMETERS TO THE LITER OR HER GOOD NATURED RELIABILITY...I THINK OF HER STILL...

I SUPPOSE IT'S OK TO HAVE FAVORITES EVEN WHEN IT COMES TO ANGELS...IT IS OK, ISN'T IT?

RUNNER UP AND COMING IN 2nd IS THE IMPISH "SMILING ANGEL OF REIMS". I KNOW HOW THIS SOUNDS... CRAZY...IMPOSSIBLE, BUT NOTRE DAME DE REIMS HAS MORE THAN 2300 STATUES AND EFFIGIES INSIDE AND OUT OF THE CATHEDRAL...I LOST COUNT AT 1431...I HAVE DECIDED IN FAVOR OF TAKING THEIR WORD FOR IT. AFTERALL, I WAS ONLY GOING TO BE IN FRANCE FOR A MONTH.


YES, MY VERY FAVORITE...THE "CRYING ANGEL OF AMIENS" (AH-ME-ON). WHY SO SAD ANGEL? I KNOW WHY, BUT I'M NOT TELLING.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS IN FRONT OF ONE OF THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS CHAMPAGNE HOUSES IN REIMS.

I'LL BE DAMNED...IT'S ARTWORK...BUT OF WHAT?


OH MY GOD IT'S SHOPPING CARTS STACKED ONE UPON ANOTHER...AH TO BE RICH , ECCENTRIC AND...I GUESS RICH AND ECCENTRIC WILL DO.


NOTE TO SELF...WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BE RICH AND ECCENTRIC ...OH YEA, AND MAKE GREAT CHAMPAGNE.


AND MY CHAMPAGNE HOUSE WILL LOOK LIKE A FORTRESS...


KINDA' LIKE THIS.

I KNOW...WHY THIS! AFTER TRAVELING MORE THAN 5,000 MILES THROUGHOUT FRANCE, I CONFESS THAT I NEVER SAW A FEED LOT...IN FACT I STOPPED A FARMER AND ASKED HIM IF HE KNEW WHAT A FEED LOT WAS...HE SAID HE DID, BUT THEY WOULD NEVER USE THEM IN FRANCE...IT STRESSES THE ANIMALS WHICH PRODUCES TOXIC CHEMICALS HARMFUL TO HUMANS. WE GRAZE OUR ANIMALS. THIS I CONFIRMED WITH THE LADIES GATHERED AROUND THE WATER COOLER. I UNDERSTAND MANY OF OUR COWS ARE MOVING TO FRANCE FOR JUST THIS REASON. THE COW ON THE RIGHT IS FROM HARRIS RANCH IN CALIFORNIA...THE ONE ON THE LEFT IS ON HOLIDAY VISTTING FROM NEW JERSEY...I THINK.



I QUICKLY END MY CONVERSATION AS WHAT APPEARS TO BE A BULL BECOMES SUSPICIOUS OF MY MOTIVES.

FALAISE, FRANCE (MEANS CLIFF IN FRENCH...OH YEA PRONOUNCED "FALL-EZ"), ABOUT 30km SOUTH OF CAEN. HOME TO WILLIAM THE BASTARD, AS HE WAS REFERED TO BY HIS SUBJECTS (I AM CERTAIN ALWAYS WHEN HE WAS OUT OF EAR-SHOT). WE KNOW HIM BETTER AS WILLIAM THE CONQUEROR OR BILLY AS HE WAS CALLED AROUND THE HOUSE. THIS WOULD BE HIS HOME. NOT BAD DIGS. TODAY A BIT OF A FIXER-UPPER. NOT TO WORRY...THE FRENCH HAVE A PLAN. I MUST SAY I AM A BIT WEARY OF CHATEAU TOURS...ALWAYS THE SAME THING...YOU MOVE FROM ONE ENORMOUS ROOM TO ANOTHER...I LIKE THE EXTERIORS BETTER. AND IT'S CHEAPER. MOST CHARGE ABOUT 8 euros OR ABOUT $11 OR $12. THE OUTSIDES WORK BEST FOR ME.


YEA, A PLAN...THEY INTEND TO RESTORE HIS CASTLE...YEP, STONE BY STONE. AH, TO BE A STONE MASON IN FRANCE TODAY.



BUT SOMETIMES, MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, YOU KNOW HOW ONE THING CAN LEAD TO ANOTHER...WELL...LET'S SAY YOU STUMBLE ONTO AN ARCHIOLOGICAL SITE...DAMN...THAT WILL DEFINITELY HOLD UP THE RESTORATION. I MET A GERMAN COUPLE WHO WERE ALSO VISITING THE SITE. THEY SPOKE NO ENGLISH AND I SPOKE NO GERMAN, BUT FORTUNATELY WE BOTH SPOKE FRENCH. WE ALL AGREED THAT THE RESTORATION STOOD A GOOD CHANCE OF TAKING LONGER TO FINISH THAN THE CASTLE ACTUALLY TOOK TO BUILD IN THE 11th CENTURY.



A VIEW FROM INSIDE OUT. FALAISE IS A CUTE SMALL TOWN. ALTHOUGH IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT IN WWII IT FACTORED BIG. IT WAS REFERED TO AS "FALAISE POCKET". THE GERMANS WERE SOURROUND, BUT OFFERED FIERCE RESISTANCE. THE CANADIANS FINALLY TOOK THE TOWN (BY THAT I MEAN FALAISE WAS COMPLETELY DESTROYED). LATTER, THE AMERICANS ENTERED THE TOWN TO MOP UP. I TALKED TO AN OLD GUY THAT RUNS THE 1944 MUSEUM HERE. HE WAS 15 AND LIVED HERE THEN AND WAS EVACUATED WITH HIS FAMILY. HE TOLD ME AFTER THE BATTLE OF FALAISE THE AMERICANS DIDN'T NEED MUCH OF A MOP...THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT.



WHAT WOULD WILLIAM HAVE GIVEN FOR EQUIPMENT LIKE THIS?....PROBABLY WOULD HAVE USED THEM AS WEAPONS.