THERE ARE PLENTY OF WAYS TO GET AROUND HERE.


NOT JUST IN PARIS ANYMORE...MOST CITIES OF MODERATE SIZE HAVE RENT-A-BIKE STATIONS THROUGHOUT THEIR CITIES. FOR A FEW EUROS, JUST SWIPE YOUR CARD AND GO. AND IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM LIKE A FLAT TIRE, HELP IS JUST A CELL PHONE CALL AWAY...5 MINITE RESPONSE TIME...TRIPLE "A", EAT YOUR HEART OUT.


THE TRAINS ARE INCREDIBLE...AN UNBELIEVEABLE NETWORK OF TRAINS HOLDS THE COUNTRY TOGETHER. AND THEY RUN "ON-TIME"...SERIOUSLY. PROBLEM IS THAT TRAINS ARE GREAT IN GOING FROM CITY TO CITY, BUT IN ORDER TO VISIT THE COUNTRYSIDE YOU NEED A CAR...NOT TO MENTION THE TIME SPENT IN TRAIN STATIONS WAITING OR, STRESSING ABOUT MAKING A TRANSFER ETC. STILL FOR AN AMERICAN FROM THE WEST COAST WHERE TRAINS ARE FOUND MOSTLY IN MUSEUMS AND COFFEETABLE BOOKS, IT CAN BE AN ADVENTURE.

CARS...SMALL CARS AND SMALLER ROADS...AND THE PARKING SPACES...DON'T GET ME STARTED@#$#@%$^%$#

IT'S FUNNY...I SEE ALL SORTS OF AMERICAN CARS HERE...LIKE THIS FORD...MODELS YOU WOULD NEVER SEE AT HOME.


BUT HERE'S MY BABY...A BRAND NEW TOYOTA YARIS I CALLED SYLVIE...A TOTAL BABE...8,000 KILOMETERS
(5,000 MILES) IN 30 DAYS. AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION (UNUSUAL FOR EUROPE), GASOLINE POWERED (ALSO UNUSUAL), A/C, AM/FM RADIO WITH A CD PLAYER, KEYLESS ENTRY, AND PUSH BUTTON STARTER (KEYLESS IGNITION). WHEN I TURNED SYLVIE IN TO EUROPCAR IN ALCENON,FRANCE (AN HOUR SOUTH OF FALAISE) AND PREPARED TO BOARD THE TRAIN FOR PARIS, I MUST ADMIT IT WAS A TEARFUL GOOD-BYE. I PARKED IN FRONT OF THE RENTAL AGENCY AND WE KISSED AND SAID OUR GOOD-BYES...MY MISTAKE WAS LOOKING BACK...I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT...WAS IT HER 25 KILOMETERS TO THE LITER OR HER GOOD NATURED RELIABILITY...I THINK OF HER STILL...

I SUPPOSE IT'S OK TO HAVE FAVORITES EVEN WHEN IT COMES TO ANGELS...IT IS OK, ISN'T IT?

RUNNER UP AND COMING IN 2nd IS THE IMPISH "SMILING ANGEL OF REIMS". I KNOW HOW THIS SOUNDS... CRAZY...IMPOSSIBLE, BUT NOTRE DAME DE REIMS HAS MORE THAN 2300 STATUES AND EFFIGIES INSIDE AND OUT OF THE CATHEDRAL...I LOST COUNT AT 1431...I HAVE DECIDED IN FAVOR OF TAKING THEIR WORD FOR IT. AFTERALL, I WAS ONLY GOING TO BE IN FRANCE FOR A MONTH.


YES, MY VERY FAVORITE...THE "CRYING ANGEL OF AMIENS" (AH-ME-ON). WHY SO SAD ANGEL? I KNOW WHY, BUT I'M NOT TELLING.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS IN FRONT OF ONE OF THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS CHAMPAGNE HOUSES IN REIMS.

I'LL BE DAMNED...IT'S ARTWORK...BUT OF WHAT?


OH MY GOD IT'S SHOPPING CARTS STACKED ONE UPON ANOTHER...AH TO BE RICH , ECCENTRIC AND...I GUESS RICH AND ECCENTRIC WILL DO.


NOTE TO SELF...WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BE RICH AND ECCENTRIC ...OH YEA, AND MAKE GREAT CHAMPAGNE.


AND MY CHAMPAGNE HOUSE WILL LOOK LIKE A FORTRESS...


KINDA' LIKE THIS.

I KNOW...WHY THIS! AFTER TRAVELING MORE THAN 5,000 MILES THROUGHOUT FRANCE, I CONFESS THAT I NEVER SAW A FEED LOT...IN FACT I STOPPED A FARMER AND ASKED HIM IF HE KNEW WHAT A FEED LOT WAS...HE SAID HE DID, BUT THEY WOULD NEVER USE THEM IN FRANCE...IT STRESSES THE ANIMALS WHICH PRODUCES TOXIC CHEMICALS HARMFUL TO HUMANS. WE GRAZE OUR ANIMALS. THIS I CONFIRMED WITH THE LADIES GATHERED AROUND THE WATER COOLER. I UNDERSTAND MANY OF OUR COWS ARE MOVING TO FRANCE FOR JUST THIS REASON. THE COW ON THE RIGHT IS FROM HARRIS RANCH IN CALIFORNIA...THE ONE ON THE LEFT IS ON HOLIDAY VISTTING FROM NEW JERSEY...I THINK.



I QUICKLY END MY CONVERSATION AS WHAT APPEARS TO BE A BULL BECOMES SUSPICIOUS OF MY MOTIVES.